Sunday, as all the world knows, was the US-Canada gold medal hockey game. My husband is Canadian and a diehard hockey fan, as all true Canadians are. He’s also a super-involved dad and our Sundays are usually family time, but come on. I sent him to a bar where he could watch the game without kids climbing on him, asking for this and that, or loudly requesting that he change the channel to Dragon Tales. And I did it happily (well, mostly), knowing my turn will be next.
We all tell our kids to do it, but first-time parents can be really, really bad at taking turns–and by this I mean handing off the baby now and again in order to have some kid-free time without guilt. Maybe it’s hormonal, maybe it’s primal, but brand-new parents can feel an inherent need to be present in their baby’s life every possible moment (okay, maybe this is more common in moms). After all, what if her first giggle is the day you stay home from the park? What if he needs you while you’re getting your hair cut? And isn’t it selfish to read a magazine on the couch while your partner does the bedtime routine? Of course, besides your own feelings on letting go, the other issue is your partner, and whether you feel supported in your time away. Taking turns doesn’t work if you feel you have to watch the clock and/or grovel to prevent a looming relationship meltdown when you return to parenting duty.
Repeat after us: TAKE TURNS. Second-time parents have learned that the best thing about having only one child is that you and your partner get to do this. If you choose to have another baby, it will be a 1:1 parent-child ratio (or you’ll be outnumbered by your kids!) from that moment on. Embrace your chance now to enjoy the guilt-free handoff. Learn this lesson early, in babyhood, and you’ll find your way to a healthier family balance going forward.
Tell us:
How have you and your partner learned take turns?
Have any relationship issues arisen from taking time away from the baby or kids?
Things that are good to know... the first time around. 