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Archive for April, 2010

Is it just me, or do you sometimes want to cackle maniacally when people stop you as you’re out with your baby, toddler, or preschooler (lugging all their stuff, catering to their every whim) to say, “Oh savor these early years…they go by so fast!”

“Really? Do they really go by so fast?” I want to reply, a bit too loudly. “DO THEY?” Because sometimes (a lot of the time) these early years actually seem to go painfully–nay, excruciatingly–slow. If that warp-speed thing that strangers on the sidewalk seem to believe is ever going to kick in, I wish it would start already.

Don’t get me wrong. I adore my children. I have chosen to structure my life in order to spend a great deal of time with them and I enjoy it, mostly. And sure, there are moments when I look at my almost-five year old and can’t believe how big she’s become. But I don’t imagine I will ever describe the last five years of my life as “going so fast.” No, I would say I have been aware of every single day of it and not one of those days has raced past me.

Maybe it will seem different when I’m older and farther along in this parenting venture (as the comment-makers often are), and I’m looking back on these early years with my kids. I can imagine how by the time my children are in their twenties or thirties (let’s not even talk about how old I will be by then), I will miss them fiercely, feel sentimental about their youth, and these first few years will seem like a blink of an eye. But today? Today when I am changing diapers, solving irrational disputes, driving here and there, rescuing lost Polly Pockets from the toilet, listening to Raffi, tripping over all the stepstools, struggling to answer esoteric questions, and cutting the ten-thousandth crust off the ten-thousandth sandwich? Today it seems many things: hard, rewarding, frustrating, exhausting, exhilarating, eye-opening, hilarious, painful, glorious, heart-wrenching, messy.

But fast? Not so much.

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Unless you truly believe a certain magazine’s claim that “Stars Are Just Like US!,” it’s probably difficult to imagine those well-styled celeb parents having any of the same concerns, insights, or ups and downs as we regular moms and dads have. I mean, if they can be red-carpet ready four weeks after giving birth, can they really exist on the same parenting planet as the rest of us? That’s why it was such a kick to come across this Letterman clip of Jennifer Garner talking about motherhood, and specifically about how differently she and hubby Ben Affleck parent their second child versus their first. When Letterman opines that he’s envious of her chance to have a second baby, because he imagines that that’s when you learn to parent in a more relaxed way, Jen lights up in agreement. “Oh, if we could all just be second time parents–the first time around!” she proclaims. Hey, she’s practically quoting our book cover! Thanks, Jennifer, for being our celebrity spokesperson…even if you didn’t know it. Here’s hoping she picks up a few dozen copies of the book for the many other new moms in Hollywood .

Check out from 6:07 – 6:42.


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When we started this blog, our book, How to Have Your Second Child First, was still a work in progress. Today, we hold a finished copy in our hands–and we are very proud parents indeed. This book was a labor (ha ha) of love, and we sincerely thank the many parents out there who contributed to it–we know your time is seriously limited, and we appreciate both the effort and the candor that you offered in order to share your knowledge. We couldn’t have done it without you.

The book looks totally gorgeous (shout out to my alma mater, Chronicle Books!) and we cannot wait to see it on the shelves of our favorite bookstores. But mostly, we feel a real pride in bringing this information to all the new and expecting first-time parents out there, guiding them toward a calmer, more relaxed first year–thanks to tips and tricks from the more experienced.  There are so many alarmist pregnancy and baby books out there, and in the midst of all that noise, we endeavor to be a voice of reason, compassion, and realism. Think of this book as a way to be sitting around a living room, having a glass of wine with a few dozen friendly, funny, tell-it-like-it-is parents who have been there before–at least twice. They will give you advice, reassurance, and a good laugh. And then they will refill your glass and tell you it’s going to be okay.

We hope you buy the book, enjoy it, recommend it to your friends. And of course, we welcome your comments and input! Ask for the book at your local bookstore or visit:

www.amazon.com

www.chroniclebooks.com

Thanks for your support,

Kerry & Rob

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